有哪些有趣的外教故事

‘壹’ 英语趣味小故事

1． Honesty

诚实

A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.

“Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thirty-five.”

“I am very sorry,”said the manager,“we cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy.”

As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk, who had overheard the conversation.

“You must not be so frank and tell the truth,”said the clerk,“no office will insure you if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little.”

The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.

“Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died?”

“Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football.”

2. An American on a British Train

一个美国人乘英国火车

A young American entered a railway compartment on a British train, to discover that all seats were occupied, Including one on which was seated a small dog. To its owner, a middle-aged lady wearing a large hat, he said politely,“Excuse me, ma'am, but may I sit down?”

She said nothing, but merely sniffed and turned over the pages of her newspaper.

Again he said,“Excuse me, ma'am, but may I have this seat, please? And again she ignored him.

For a third time the young American said,“Ma'am, would you please remove your dog so that I may sit down?”

And for the third time the snooty matron totally ignored him, so he opened a window, picked up the dog, threw it out, and then sat on the empty seat.

There was a stunned silence, and then an Englishman sitting opposite said,“You know, you Yanks are the strangest people. You drive on the wrong side of the road. You eat with the fork in the wrong hand, you name the floors in the wrong numbers, and now you've just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!”

3．A Bad Foot

受伤的脚

There was a bookseller who did not like to pay for anything. One day a big box of books fell on his foot.

“Go to the doctor,”said his wife，“show that foot to him.”

“No,”he said,“I'll wait until the doctor comes to our shop next time. Then I'll ask him about my foot. If I go to see him, I shall have to pay.”

The next day the doctor came to the shop to buy some books. The bookseller told the doctor about his bad foot. The doctor looked at it and promised to help.

He took out a piece of paper and wrote something on it.“Buy this and put it on the foot before you go to bed every night.”he said.

“Thank you.”said the bookseller.“And now, sir, here are your books.”

“How much?”asked the doctor.

“Two pounds.”

“Good,”said the doctor.“I shall not have to pay you anything today.”

“Why?”asked the bookseller.

“I have examined your foot. I want two pounds for that. If people come to my house, I ask them to pay one pound for a small thing like that. But when I go to their houses, I usually charge two pounds. And I came here today, didn't I? Bye-bye!”

4.The Gold and the Fur Coat

金子与皮大衣

A young man and an old man were waiting for a bus at a station. They sat next to each other.

“What's that in your bag?”asked the young man, pointing to a big bag beside the old man.

“Gold, nothing but gold,”answered the old man.

The young man could hardly believe his own ears,“What?”he said to himself in surprise.“So much gold? My God! How I wish to be able to get so much gold!”Then he began to think about how to get the gold.

The old man looked tired and sleepy and it seemed that he could hardly keep his eyes open.“Are you sleepy, sir?”asked the young man.“Then you'd better lie down on the chair and have a good rest. Don't worry about the bus. I'll wake you up in time.”

“All right. It's very kind of you, young man.”The old man lay down and before long he fell asleep.

The young man took the big bag gently. But when he was about to run away, he found a corner of his fur coat was under the old man's body. Several times he tried to pull it out, but he couldn't. At last he took off his coat and went away with the bag.

The young man ran out of the station as quickly as his legs could carry him. When he reached a place where he thought the old man couldn't find him, he stopped and quickly opened the bag.

To his surprise, there was nothing but a lot of small stones in it. He hurried to the station at once. But when he got there, he found the old man was gone.

5． Shave Me First

先给我刮脸

A barber was in his shop, busily cutting a man's hair, when a handsome young stranger came in. He had a small boy with him. They sat down together and waited until the barber had finished. Then the young man told the barber to shave him and to cut the small boy's hair.

The barber said,“Do you want me to cut the boy's hair first, or to shave you?”

“Oh, shave me.”said the young man.“Then I'll go down the road and have a glass of wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.”

The young man sat down in the barber's chair, and the barber began to shave him.

When he had finished, the young man got up and said,“I'll go down the road now and have my wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.”

“All right, but I won't take long.”the barber warned him. The young man went out, the small boy obediently sat down in the barber's chair，and the barber began to cut his hair.

As he had said, he soon finished, and then the boy sat down and waited. At the end of half an hour, when the young man had still not come back, the barber said to the boy,“It is a pity that your daddy's taking such a long time. Where is he likely to be now?”

“I can't guess,”answered the small boy.“And that man wasn't my daddy. I've never seen him before in my life. I was playing in the street this morning, and he came up to me and asked me whether I'd like to have my hair cut without having to pay anything. I said I would, because my hair was rather long, so he brought me here.”

6.The Man and His Monkey

耍猴的人

A small crowd had gathered round the entrance to the park. His curiosity aroused, Robert crossed the road to see what was happening. He found that the centre of attraction was an old man with a performing monkey. The monkey's tricks ,he soon discovered, were in no way remarkable. So after throwing a few pennies in the dirty hat which the man had placed on the pavement, Robert began to move off, along with other members of the crowd.

At this point the man suddenly let out a loud cry. Everyone turned to see what had happened. The man was bending over his monkey, which now lay quite still

‘贰’ 英语小故事100字一下

‘叁’ 适合外教课演讲的英文搞笑小故事,2分钟左右的,

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
老师正在讲课,彼得打起瞌睡来了.
Teacher:Peter!Tell us,what's the biggest in the world?
老师：彼得!你说说,世界上什么最大?
Peter:Well,well.eyelids.
彼得:嗯……嗯……眼皮……
Teacher:What?Eyelids?
老师：什么?眼皮?
Peter:Yes,sir.Because as soon as I shut my eyes,the eyelids cover everything of the world.
彼得：是的,老师.因为我眼睛一闭,眼皮就把世界上所有的东西都遮住了
He Won
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.
Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了伤.
汤姆：真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里.他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”
“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说.
“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问.
“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说.“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢.”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱.
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说.“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说.“再给你两分钱.可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的.”
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家.这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题.他向父亲发问道：“爸爸,” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察.如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了.” “可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意.这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子.过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里.客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好.你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生.”那小男孩说.
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球,一个老美看到就笑我说,"Do you
know what does it mean?It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想着
性,缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快,联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围,他说,有一个很着名的合唱团 Korn,他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔!下次就换你去取笑老美了.

‘肆’ 你都见过哪些外国人在中国出糗的事情呢

大学的时候有个二货外教，热衷于砍价和吃吃吃。不知道是不是美国人喜欢吃含油高的东西，反正这货就特别喜欢吃油条。每天早上起大早去早点摊蹲着，人家炸一根他吃一根，炸一根吃一根，蹲了一个多小时，别人一根也没买到。周围大爷大妈那个怨气啊，但是他不会中文，根本说不通。后来我们班长实在看不下去，过去把人拎回来了。他闹着要吃东西，我们只好带他去随便逛逛，然后吃了个鸡蛋灌饼，于是之后的一个月，他每天就去鸡蛋灌饼的摊子蹲着...