怎么把握事业和爱情

‘壹’ 如何平衡婚恋与事业的关系

们经常在电影或小说中看到，一个男人因为太过专注于自己的事业而失去了女孩(反之亦然)，以至于他无法给予他的恋情足够的关注。这总会产生一个奇怪的道德困境。你为这个角色在职业生涯中取得成功感到高兴，但遗憾的是，他没有时间处理事业之外的事情。
如果你是一个事业心很强的男人，你可能会联想到这些浪漫的寓言，你不想放弃你的事业，但你也不想孤独。那么，如何在两者之间找到一种有效的生活平衡呢？

1让你的爱人保持一致
在一段幸福、健康、不断发展的关系中，两个人之间的简单交流是至关重要的一步。当你非常专注于你的事业时，你的互动经常不在状态。但如果你想让你们的关系持续发展，你们应该互相谈谈。与你的伴侣商讨你对时间的安排计划，想出一些能让夫妻关系更融洽的点子，并专注于你的最终目标。如果你们的关系无果而终，也许不值得再平衡上如此强调。

2平衡和感激牺牲
平衡是在很长一段时间内创造出来的，我们必须承认你的伴侣为你的事业做出的牺牲，并愿意为你跟她的美好生活做出牺牲。任何关系的建立都离不开牺牲，而且这不是一时半会就能体会理解的，要认识到这一点的话，自己需要经历很长时间，要有耐心！

3彼此尊重对方
不管你的个性多么顽固，你们在处理解决事情的时候，你们的决定是互相影响的，你必须承认你的伴侣在这个问题上有平等的发言权。你必须尊重她的观点，不要忘记，当你专注于平衡你的事业和个人生活时，你的伴侣也可能跟你一样面临同样的问题。如果你表现出无条件的支持和尊重，你更有可能得到回报，相互作出的决定比单独作出的决定更有效。

4. 你对优先等级的分类
21世纪的浪漫通常意味着需要花费大量的心思和时间，然而工作的忙碌很难抽出合适的时间准备。因此，分清轻重缓急或意识到你需要把大部分注意力集中在什么地方，以及什么地方可以放手，可能是一项任务。例如，如果你的工作或生意很稳定，花点时间和你的另一半在一起是值得的。如果你的爱情生活又处于良好状态，你喜欢在事业上取得好的成绩，那就在你的职业上多投入一点吧！时刻要让你的伴侣明白，她们是你生活中非常重要的一部分，有效沟通尤为的重要。

5道歉和原谅
一段成功的关系需要耐心和宽恕。以此为基础，在你的职业生涯中找到平衡是令人满意的。每一对情侣都会在恋爱过程中经历挑战和犯错，但人无完人，犯错是难免的，学会道歉和原谅你的伴侣。这将帮助你们建立更多的信任和对彼此的信心，而保持愤怒和怨恨会使情况变得更糟，使你的压力更大。

‘贰’ 你觉得应该如何正确处理爱情和事业呢

我觉得在现实中大部分的人都不会面临事业和爱情之间难以选择的难题，又不是电视剧，爱情和事业并不冲突，谁还每个班上啊，当然如果真的有这种情况，那我选择事业，爱情可以再有，事业可能错过就是错过了，毕竟不管干什么都需要钱。

‘叁’ 事业与爱情我们该如何取舍

摘要：事业与爱情以截然不同但都非常重要的方式给我们带来满足感。拥有稳定的工作，除了能够让我们支付各种账单的实用性之外，还可以给我们以成就感，并能够充分实现自我价值。然而，也有人是以拥有愉悦、满意的家庭生活为标准来衡量自己的成功的。

The choice between having a career or making time for love is an extremely personal and indivial decision. There are many factors which can affect your choice, and there are many people who have discovered how to achieve a healthy work life balance that allows them to have both.

事业与爱情之间的选择是一个非常私人的决定。有许多因素能够影响你的选择，许多人已经发现了怎样获得健康的事业与生活的平衡点，从而可以鱼与熊掌兼得。

Careers and love fulfill us in different but important ways. Having a solid career gives us a senseof accomplishment and self worth, aside from the practicalities of paying the bills. Many peopledevelop their entire identity based upon what they do, elevating their career to a level of greatimportance in their lives.

事业与爱情以截然不同但都非常重要的方式给我们带来满足感。拥有稳定的工作，除了能够让我们支付各种账单的实用性之外，还可以给我们以成就感，并能够充分实现自我价值。许多人正是在事业的基础上确立了自己的身份和地位，并将他们的职业提升到了生活中非常重要的高度。

Then there are those who measure their success interms of having a pleasant and rewarding home life.They develop their identities based upon theaccomplishments of their children, and derive theirself worth through the love and support of aspouse.

然而，也有人是以拥有愉悦、满意的家庭生活为标准来衡量自己的成功的。他们将自己的身份和地位建立在孩子的成就基础之上，他们的自我价值是通过配偶的爱和支持体现出来的。

So what happens if you cannot or do not wish to make room in your life for both? While thehappiest and healthiest people have managed to develop a work life balance that allows forboth, it may not be for everyone. Consider these factors when pondering which is moreimportant for you.

如果你在生活中无法或没有希望兼顾这两方面，那会怎么样呢?虽然最幸福和最健康的人已经设法拥有了事业与生活的平衡，做到了两者兼得，但并不是每个人都能如此。在权衡哪方面对你更重要的时候，不妨考虑一下这些因素。

1. Your career may be more important when you areyoung

Many people these days focus on careers first andfamily later. The reasoning is that, while you areyoung and unencumbered, you have the time andenergy to fully devote yourself to a career. If youhave lofty career ambitions while you are young, itmay indeed be the time to start making progresstowards those goals.

1.在你年轻的时候，事业可能更重要

现在有许多人都是先考虑事业，后考虑家庭。理由是，在年轻力壮、毫无牵挂的时候，你的时间和精力可以全部投入到事业中去。如果你在年轻的时候拥有远大的事业心，那的确应该抓住时机，向着那些目标前进。

Once you get married and begin to build a family, much of your time and energy -by necessity-becomes devoted to your family. This is as it should be. You should not start a family unlessyou are willing to devote time and attention to your loved ones.

一旦你结了婚，开始组建家庭，你的许多时间和精力就必然要投入到家庭之中。这是理所应当的。如果你不想将时间和注意力投入到你所爱的人身上，你就不应该成家。

Many people who accomplish great success in theircareers when they are young, and establishthemselves in a secure position, are then morewilling and comfortable later on to devotethemselves to family. By the time they do settledown, they are more prepared to handle theresponsibility.

许多人在年轻的时候就已经在事业上功成名就，在建立了稳固的地位之后，会更愿意专注于舒适的家庭生活。等到定下心来成家立室的时候，他们已经充分做好了承担家庭职责的准备。

2. Falling in love can be better when you are older

More and more people these days are choosing towait when it comes to making decisions about family.It is not unusual for people to delay marriage untiltheir late 30's or even their early 40's. Delayingfamily decisions allows you to be better prepared forthose obligations, and creates a better Ukelibood5that you are in touch with your most important goalsand values. You have had the opportunity to completely grow up, greatly recing the chancesof feeling like you are "missing out." You have had the chance to purge the foolishness ofyouth from your system and are now confident with the wisdom of maturity.

2.成熟稳重时恋爱会更好

如今有越来越多的人在提到成家的决定时都选择等待。许多人会等到30多岁甚至40出头的时候才结婚，这已经不是什么奇怪的事了。晚成家的决定可以使你对那些家庭义务进行更充分的准备，并使你更有可能实现自己的人生目标和价值。你拥有完全的成长机会，可以最大限度地减少你觉得有所遗憾的可能性。此外，你还有机会蜕去青春的无知，充满自信地展现你的成熟和睿智。

3. Choosing Both

If you can find a work life balance that allows you toexperience the joys of love and maintain a successfulcareer, you will have a truly happy and rewardinglife. A loving family at Home can help you celebrateall of your successes, and bolster your confidencethrough your failures. There are many people outthere reaping the tremendous rewards that comewith including love and work in their lives, and finding the balance that allows for both.

3.两者皆选

如果你能够找到事业与生活的平衡点，能够在享受爱情的政愉同时还保持事业的成功，那么，你就会拥有真正幸福充实的人生。相亲相爱的家人，不仅能够在成 功时为你庆祝，还能在失败时帮你重拾信心。许多人已经找到了两者的平衡点，拥有了事业与爱情双丰收的美好人生。

A life that only has room for a career, or thatincludes a consuming love that stifles your personaldevelopment, is likely not a lifestyle that is healthy orfulfilling Our personal needs and feelings of self worthneed to be met, which is normally gained from havinga good career. Our hearts and souls need to benourished , and we need companionship to supportus through life, which normally are derived fromloving relationships.

如果一个人的生活中只有事业，或者只有妨碍个人发展的强烈的爱情，那样的生活方式就不能算是健康的或成功的。我们个人的需求和自我价值感需要得到满足，而且常常都是通过拥有一个好工作来实现的;但我们的心灵也需要得到滋养，我们需要有伴侣与我们相互扶持度过漫长一生，而这常常是通过爱情来获得的。

The truly healthy and well balanced person willrecognize the benefits of having both. He or she willtake steps to achieve the work life balancenecessary to assure the continuation of careergrowth while nurturing and maintaining the health ofpersonal relationships. It is only when we canmaintain this delicate balance that we are living lifeto its greatest potential.

真正健康、正常的人会认可同时拥有这两者的好处。他必定会设法取得事业与生活的平衡，确保在保持良好的人际关系的同时，能够继续事业的良好发展。只有当我们能够维持这种微妙的平衡时，我们才有可能拥有最完美幸福的生活。

美文二

你可以选择自己想过的生活

Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

生活有时候困难得难以置信，但又不容置疑。我们面临的挑战与困境似乎无法抵御，试图毁灭我们生活，甚至使你犹疑是否继续走下去。但是你总有选择的余地。从人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯乐普，在这里与我们分享她启迪心灵、充满震撼力的生活之旅。

In 2012 I had the worst year of my life。

2012年是我生活中最艰难的一年。

I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it。

我做着讨厌的财务工作，住在难寻绿色的高楼林立的城市。我忙于无意义的交往，在一些肤浅表面的东西上大笔开销。我寻找快乐，却又不知道它在哪里。

Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice。

然后我患上了慢性疲劳综合症，几乎到了卧床不起的地步。我不得不辞掉工作，同时也就断了财源。我和那时仅相处了3个月的男友住在一起，经济上完全依赖于他，我们的关系承受着巨大压力。终于我恢复健康，但不久，我接到家里的电话，父亲的癌症急剧恶化，已经住进了临终关怀中心。

I left the city and I went home to be with him。

我离开了城市，回家陪父亲。

He died 6 months later。

6个月之后，他去世了。

My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what。

父亲的事让我彻底清醒。他一直很强壮，在他咽气之后一分钟里，我真的认为，他会活过来。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他温暖的怀抱里，享受他宽大的胸怀带给我的安全感。

The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other。

母亲和我们5个兄弟姐妹极为难过，但至少我们还拥有彼此。

But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital。

但是，那时我大姐开始抱怨着背痛，2个月后，因疼痛加剧也住进了医院。

They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do。

医生们检查发现，她已是骨癌晚期，对此他们已无能为力。

She died 1 month later。

1个月之后，她也走了。

I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life。

大姐的逝去让我陷入难以形容的痛苦之中。

She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her。

在这个世界上，她是一个能走路、会说话的天使，我最喜欢的人。如果有人问我，世界上发生的最坏的事情是什么，那就是失去她。

She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her。

她是我的灵魂伴侣，我从来没有想过，我会走过没有她陪伴的生命旅程。

The Moment Of Deliberate Choice

抉择时刻

The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss。

我被打击和极度的心痛击挎了。强烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中变得如此凄凉。我没有真正意义上的家，没有钱，没有工作，也没有关心我的朋友。没有一个人因我失去亲人而寄给我慰问卡。

I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital。

我尝试着活下去，结果住进了医院。

I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long。

我记得，躺在病床上，看着天花板，看到姐姐美丽的面庞。她整夜守候着我。

I realised ring that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it。

那天晚上，我意识到我可以选择。要么结束生命，要么活下去。

I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here。

望着姐姐的眼睛，我决定不跟她走。我要留下来，走完我的生命旅程。

I also made the decision that, I wouldn’t just live any life. I would live the life that I absolutely LOVE and nothing less。

同时，我还决定，不只为生活而生活，我要完全以自己想要的方式生活。

In that moment, the clarity that descended around me was like a light shining in a dark room for the first time. As if the earth’s plates had shifted under my feet and everything suddenly looked real for the first time。

在那一刻，这一想法第一次清晰得如同一盏在黑暗闪烁的明灯。好像脚下的地球版块变换了，每一样东西在我眼前都真实得前所未有。

The Blossoms Of My Newly Chosen Life

我的生活之花重新绽放了

Since then I have begun to shape the most beautiful life for myself。

从那时起，我开始为自己塑造最美丽的生活。

I now live in an adorable stone cottage in a stunningly green, luscious region of the UK amongst woodlands and lakes。

现在，我住在英国一栋迷人的小石屋里，绿树掩映，与湖为伴，景色美丽宜人。

I have a deeply harmonious, joyful relationship with my amazing boyfriend, who’s gone through all this with me and we are very happy together。

我的男友很好，我们的关系和谐美好，他曾伴我度过那段艰难时期，现在我们一起分享着快乐。

I write a blog that inspires others to live the life that they love. It is what I know I was born to do and it truly makes my heart sing。

我写博客，激励他人过他们喜欢的生活。我知道这是我生来要做的事情，它真正使我感受到发自内心的快乐。

I am making new friends with beautiful souls all around the world。

我和世界上有着美好心灵的人交朋友。

I practise gratitude for my life every single day and I feel the abundance in everything I have now。

每一天，我满怀对生活的感激之情，我满足于我现在拥有的一切。

I spend quality time with the rest of my precious family and cherish every moment I have with them。

我与心爱的家人共度快乐时光，珍惜与他们相处的每一刻。

I have written a bucket list and am already manifesting so much of which I have always dreamed。

我列出愿望清单，它很大程度上体现了我一直以来梦想。

I connect with my heart often to ensure that I am always following my joy。

我时常与心交流，确保做着喜欢的事。

I love myself more deeply every day。

我一天比一天更爱自己。

I live authentically now。

现在我真正地活着。

Waking Up

清醒

It took something powerfully transformative in my life to make me wake up. Wake up to some fundamental truths of life.This life is a gift if you want to accept it. No matter what the obstacle, you can make your life abundant with joy and you can live authentically。

生活中一些重大变化使我清醒，使我意识到生活的基本真理。如果你愿意接受生活，它就是礼物。无论遭遇任何困难，你总能让生活充满快乐，真正地生活。

Not a day goes by when I don’t miss my father’s huge character or my beloved sister’s gentle brown eyes, but I know that I will be with them one day for an eternity. What I have now is so precious and so fleeting that I must grasp the joy in every moment I can, and treat it as the gift that it is。

没有哪一天，我不思念父亲温暖的怀抱或至爱的姐姐温柔的棕色眼睛，但是，我知道，终有一天我会与他们相聚。我现在拥有的是如此珍贵、如此易逝，我必须尽情享受每一刻的欢愉，将其视为上帝的馈赠。

You choose life every day. But do you choose the life that you love every day?

每一天，你选择生活。但是，你是否每一天都过着想要的生活?

‘肆’ 事业和爱情怎样才能两者兼顾呢

对于事业型的女孩子来说，如果恰好在事业上升期遇到了爱情，那么是很难平衡的。正所谓鱼与熊掌不可兼得，对于不是事业型的人来说，谈恋爱的时候就很平衡自己的个人生活以及两个人共同生活之间的时间分配问题，很多小情侣可能就因为多打了一把游戏，就吵得不可开交，可想而知相对于比游戏重要得多的多的事业，要想两者兼得有多么难，尤其是对于事业心强的人遇到了事业上升期，真是太难决策了。

其次是建议早一点把握住爱情，其实只要不在事业上升期遇到热恋期，爱情和事业这两者还是比较好平衡的。现在有很多女生在读研究生或者读博士的时候，遇到了对的人，就会非常珍惜，并且把学业和爱情规划好，在时间相对还比较空闲一点的学生时代，解决结婚生子问题，毕业之后就能一心冲事业了。但是如果做不到平衡学业和爱情，十分不建议在读书的时候结婚生子，这样会造成一些比较恶劣的影响，甚至可能让一个导师再也不想招女研究生。

‘伍’ 事业和爱情，怎样才能兼顾呢

事业和爱情如何才能两全？大家都在寻求一种最佳的平衡状态。其实两者并不冲突，爱情也不是非要等到事业足够成功才能拥有的，一段好的感情应该是共同成长。首先女生也要有一份自己的工作，要通情达理独立自主，当对方比较忙的时候，也可以充实地生活、照顾好自己，不让对方担心；其次，创业对于男生来讲是一件好事，作为女朋友要理解他做的事情，多多支持和鼓励，在对方需要的时候给予必要的帮助。同时也要不断提升自己，尽量保持和对方一样的进步速度，也会让男生更有创业的动力；当然，如果有可能的话，两个人也可以一起创业，一起并肩作战，为了两个人的美好未来共同努力，这种一起吃苦的幸福会成为两个人感情路上的宝贵回忆。

‘陆’ 你会怎么兼顾自己的事业和爱情

怎么去兼顾事业和爱情，我想这是很多人都遇到的问题。当一个人的时候，做一件事情可能很简单，当两件事同时来的时候，也许有点手忙脚措，不知道如何去协调。爱情和事业有时候会冲突，就会打乱自己的正常生活，有时候必须作出选择，又可能觉得太可惜。协调和生活和事业是一种难题，但并不是说不可能。选对好方法，做好调节，就可以两者都拥有。

有时候感情和事业都想兼顾，不仅是个人的问题，更是两个人的问题。需要双方都去静下来思考当前什么是重要的，两个人在一起要达到什么样的目标，这样两个人在遇到问题和冲突时都能表示理解。双方都确定目标之后，两个人都并为此努力，在困难的时候彼此打气，成为彼此的精神支柱，我想这就是最健康的爱情。爱情和事业的平衡，需要两个人共同去努力。