有哪些有趣的外教故事

『壹』 英語趣味小故事

1． Honesty

誠實

A man went to an insurance office to have his life insured. The manager of the office asked him how old his parents were when they died.

「Mother had a bad heart and died at the age of thirty. Father died of tuberculosis when he was thirty-five.」

「I am very sorry,」said the manager,「we cannot insure your life as your parents were not healthy.」

As the man was leaving the office, depressed, he met a clerk, who had overheard the conversation.

「You must not be so frank and tell the truth,」said the clerk,「no office will insure you if you speak like that. Use your imagination a little.」

The man went to another office and was shown into the manager's room.

「Well, young man, how old were your parents when they died?」

「Mother was ninety-three, and she died from a fall off her bicycle. Father was ninety-eight and he died while he was playing football.」

2. An American on a British Train

一個美國人乘英國火車

A young American entered a railway compartment on a British train, to discover that all seats were occupied, Including one on which was seated a small dog. To its owner, a middle-aged lady wearing a large hat, he said politely,「Excuse me, ma'am, but may I sit down?」

She said nothing, but merely sniffed and turned over the pages of her newspaper.

Again he said,「Excuse me, ma'am, but may I have this seat, please? And again she ignored him.

For a third time the young American said,「Ma'am, would you please remove your dog so that I may sit down?」

And for the third time the snooty matron totally ignored him, so he opened a window, picked up the dog, threw it out, and then sat on the empty seat.

There was a stunned silence, and then an Englishman sitting opposite said,「You know, you Yanks are the strangest people. You drive on the wrong side of the road. You eat with the fork in the wrong hand, you name the floors in the wrong numbers, and now you've just thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!」

3．A Bad Foot

受傷的腳

There was a bookseller who did not like to pay for anything. One day a big box of books fell on his foot.

「Go to the doctor,」said his wife，「show that foot to him.」

「No,」he said,「I'll wait until the doctor comes to our shop next time. Then I'll ask him about my foot. If I go to see him, I shall have to pay.」

The next day the doctor came to the shop to buy some books. The bookseller told the doctor about his bad foot. The doctor looked at it and promised to help.

He took out a piece of paper and wrote something on it.「Buy this and put it on the foot before you go to bed every night.」he said.

「Thank you.」said the bookseller.「And now, sir, here are your books.」

「How much?」asked the doctor.

「Two pounds.」

「Good,」said the doctor.「I shall not have to pay you anything today.」

「Why?」asked the bookseller.

「I have examined your foot. I want two pounds for that. If people come to my house, I ask them to pay one pound for a small thing like that. But when I go to their houses, I usually charge two pounds. And I came here today, didn't I? Bye-bye!」

4.The Gold and the Fur Coat

金子與皮大衣

A young man and an old man were waiting for a bus at a station. They sat next to each other.

「What's that in your bag?」asked the young man, pointing to a big bag beside the old man.

「Gold, nothing but gold,」answered the old man.

The young man could hardly believe his own ears,「What?」he said to himself in surprise.「So much gold? My God! How I wish to be able to get so much gold!」Then he began to think about how to get the gold.

The old man looked tired and sleepy and it seemed that he could hardly keep his eyes open.「Are you sleepy, sir?」asked the young man.「Then you'd better lie down on the chair and have a good rest. Don't worry about the bus. I'll wake you up in time.」

「All right. It's very kind of you, young man.」The old man lay down and before long he fell asleep.

The young man took the big bag gently. But when he was about to run away, he found a corner of his fur coat was under the old man's body. Several times he tried to pull it out, but he couldn't. At last he took off his coat and went away with the bag.

The young man ran out of the station as quickly as his legs could carry him. When he reached a place where he thought the old man couldn't find him, he stopped and quickly opened the bag.

To his surprise, there was nothing but a lot of small stones in it. He hurried to the station at once. But when he got there, he found the old man was gone.

5． Shave Me First

先給我刮臉

A barber was in his shop, busily cutting a man's hair, when a handsome young stranger came in. He had a small boy with him. They sat down together and waited until the barber had finished. Then the young man told the barber to shave him and to cut the small boy's hair.

The barber said,「Do you want me to cut the boy's hair first, or to shave you?」

「Oh, shave me.」said the young man.「Then I'll go down the road and have a glass of wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.」

The young man sat down in the barber's chair, and the barber began to shave him.

When he had finished, the young man got up and said,「I'll go down the road now and have my wine while you're cutting the boy's hair.」

「All right, but I won't take long.」the barber warned him. The young man went out, the small boy obediently sat down in the barber's chair，and the barber began to cut his hair.

As he had said, he soon finished, and then the boy sat down and waited. At the end of half an hour, when the young man had still not come back, the barber said to the boy,「It is a pity that your daddy's taking such a long time. Where is he likely to be now?」

「I can't guess,」answered the small boy.「And that man wasn't my daddy. I've never seen him before in my life. I was playing in the street this morning, and he came up to me and asked me whether I'd like to have my hair cut without having to pay anything. I said I would, because my hair was rather long, so he brought me here.」

6.The Man and His Monkey

耍猴的人

A small crowd had gathered round the entrance to the park. His curiosity aroused, Robert crossed the road to see what was happening. He found that the centre of attraction was an old man with a performing monkey. The monkey's tricks ,he soon discovered, were in no way remarkable. So after throwing a few pennies in the dirty hat which the man had placed on the pavement, Robert began to move off, along with other members of the crowd.

At this point the man suddenly let out a loud cry. Everyone turned to see what had happened. The man was bending over his monkey, which now lay quite still

『貳』 英語小故事100字一下

『叄』 適合外教課演講的英文搞笑小故事,2分鍾左右的,

Peter dozed off while his teacher was talking.
老師正在講課,彼得打起瞌睡來了.
Teacher:Peter!Tell us,what's the biggest in the world?
老師：彼得!你說說,世界上什麼最大?
Peter:Well,well.eyelids.
彼得:嗯……嗯……眼皮……
Teacher:What?Eyelids?
老師：什麼?眼皮?
Peter:Yes,sir.Because as soon as I shut my eyes,the eyelids cover everything of the world.
彼得：是的,老師.因為我眼睛一閉,眼皮就把世界上所有的東西都遮住了
He Won
Tommy:How is your little brother,Johnny?Johnny:He is ill in bed.He hurt himself.
Tommy:That's too bad.How did that happen?
Johnny:We played who could lean furthest out of the window,and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼,你小弟弟好嗎?
約翰尼：他害病卧床了.他受了傷.
湯姆：真糟糕,怎麼回事兒?
約翰尼：我們做游戲,看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠,他贏了.
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,"What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan."I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡.他媽媽問,「發生了什麼事?」
「一個男孩咬了我一口,」伊凡說.
「再見到他你能認出來嗎?」媽媽問.
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他,」伊凡說.「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢.」
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents."What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly."Here are two cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢.
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了?」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆,」他回答說.「你真是個好孩子,」媽媽驕傲地說.「再給你兩分錢.可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢?」
「她是個賣糖果的.」
Drunk
One day,a father and his little son were going home.At this age,the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.Now,he asked,"What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk',dad?" "Well,my son," his father replied,"look,there are standing two policemen.If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But,dad," the boy said," there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天,父親與小兒子一道回家.這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題.他向父親發問道：「爸爸,」 「唔,孩子,」父親回答說,「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察.如果我把他們看成了四個,那麼我就算醉了.」 「可是,爸爸,」孩子說,「那兒只有一個警察呀!」
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese.The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate.The visitor smiled,put the cheese into his mouth and then said:"You must have better eyes than your mother,sonny.Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap,sir," replied the boy.
好客
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時,家裡沒有乳酪了,於是女主人向大家表示歉意.這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子.過了一會兒,他拿著一片乳酪回到房間,把乳酪放在客人的盤子里.客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子,你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好.你在哪裡找到的乳酪?」 「在捕鼠夾上,先生.」那小男孩說.
英語小笑話
上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球,一個老美看到就笑我說,"Do you
know what does it mean?It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性,縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎麼反應這么快,聯想力這么豐富時,旁邊的
一個老美幫我解圍,他說,有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn,他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S,(All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳的喔!下次就換你去取笑老美了.

『肆』 你都見過哪些外國人在中國出糗的事情呢

大學的時候有個二貨外教，熱衷於砍價和吃吃吃。不知道是不是美國人喜歡吃含油高的東西，反正這貨就特別喜歡吃油條。每天早上起大早去早點攤蹲著，人家炸一根他吃一根，炸一根吃一根，蹲了一個多小時，別人一根也沒買到。周圍大爺大媽那個怨氣啊，但是他不會中文，根本說不通。後來我們班長實在看不下去，過去把人拎回來了。他鬧著要吃東西，我們只好帶他去隨便逛逛，然後吃了個雞蛋灌餅，於是之後的一個月，他每天就去雞蛋灌餅的攤子蹲著...